Tekken

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Tekken-gatas
"Christie Monteiro estas en la ludo por la ekzakta kialo ke vi pensas..."
~ La produktistoj de Tekken pri masturbo Christie Monteiro

"AGHHHH MI MALAMEGAS LA PANDO "

~ tipa tekken ludisto pri Tekken

"Ĉu mi mortas nun? bonvolu?"

~ Heihachi pri mem

"Ĝi estas dek du colo longa kaj malmola."

~ Paul pri lia haro

"Ĉu vi intencis serĉi: Teke"

~ Vikipedio pri Tekken

"Vivi kun iu en fido kaj konfido"

~ Zamenhof pri Tekken
Chase
1693 n

Tekken estas kegloludo simulilo fama por ĝia kontraŭbatalado subludoj, Kiu estas plej laŭŝajna en la ludo "Tekken Taĥo turniro" kiu dungas pro la unua tempo taĥteamo kegloludo, la kontraŭbatalado subludoj ankaŭ dungas taĥteamo kegloludo. La ludo havas multaj karakteroj kaj ĉiuj kegloludas la sama, sed por kelkaj homoj kiuj preferas la kontraŭbatalado subludo (kiu ajn ilin devas esti) la karakteroj povas uzi diferencan teknikon.

popola en Japanio ĉar estas federa juro malpermesadas la aliformigan uzon de kegloludo balojn pri la uzo de kegloludo, do la japanaj homoj devas ĵeti Hello Kitty pupoj suben la strateto froteti malnovajn karaokajn maŝinojn aŭ aĉetas Tekken, kaj kio estas kial tekken estas popola ludo. Tekken tradukas kiel "Fero kegloludo pugno" en japana lingvo

super la jarojn, Tekken kulturis el baza kegloludo ludon kun malgrandaj sekvantaroj al unu de la plej popolaj ludoj en la mondo. Tekken havas avantaĝojn super alian kegloludon simulilojn, ĉar estas ne aliaj lasas vi ludi kiel Pando. Ĉi tiu kegloludada pando estas rekta posteulo de la Urso sed ĉi tiu fakto neniam surfacas, ĉar ĝia senkegloludo parenca naturo. La ludo havas multaj multaj karakteroj kaj ĉi tiu estas la unuan tempon, ke kegloludo simulilon lasas vi ludas kiel Pando kaj Garry Glitter en unu ludo.

[redakti] Karakteroj

[redakti] Paŭlo

Paŭlo Glitter estas la nekonata filo de la fama Pedofilo Garry Glitter. Li estas elekti unuavice por lia granda haaro, kiun ofte distras liaj antagonistoj. li uzas malgrandan rozkoloran balon ke li prenis el lia ekskoramiko malgrandan timon. Paŭlo uzas gejan karateon kaj estas konsiderita malbona elekto por iu ajn okazaĵo. Tamen li havas unu tre potenca teknikon, kiu ŝargas en 4 tagoj.

[redakti] Lej Vulongo

Praia-japao

Lej estas imperiestro en Ĉinio. Kiam li estas tedi, li komenciĝis kegloludado. Li estas monaĥo kaj povas ĉarlatani por kegloludo, oni devas uzi 100 butoni ĉarlatanan kodon kiel la balo ruladi suben la strateton, ĉarlatani. Lej estas konsiderita unu de la malplej karaktero en la tuta ludo. En la kontraŭbatalado subludo li estas forta kiel Paŭlo kaj uzas Kung fu seksperforti liaj antagonistoj.

RETPAĜO NE KOMPLETA BEDAŬRAS MI LABORAS FINI LA RETPAĜON DE TEKKEN, BONVOLU POR VIA TEMPO

EN ANGLO....

[redakti] Ĵun Kazamo

Shintosamurai1

Jun is one of the only female characters in a Japanese game that lacks stupidly large breasts, this is why she is the favoured character by women, her bowling style is cutesy and slow but she often gets some suprise points. Ŝi is Jin's evil twin and their names were chosen so similar to confuse players. Jun is pretty much useless in the fighting minigame.

[redakti] Ĵin Kazamo

Jin is the king of the Tekken Bowling tournament, the Tekken Bowling Tag Team Tournament and his kingdom stretches from Siam to Persia, Jin often beats his twin sister Jun because he has the ability to read minds, if you press L1 as him playing against Jun you can see what type of bowl she is about to do. In the fighting Minigame Jin is powerfull and can fly due to gas pockets naturally occuring inside his anus.

[redakti] Nina Vilahelmoj

Nina is the Prostitute sister of Rachel from the Ninja Gaiden series, she likes to wear her work clothes to the bowling alley, and she can often be seen picking up the 15 year old weekend staff. She has a thing for half leopard half human luchadores so she is currently in a non commited relationship with King but is going behind his back with Armor king. "I'm just not a one leopard-man kinda girl" she said. Nina bowls using her feet and is very good at getting strikes, in the fighting minigame her strategy is sexual tension which always pays off in the end.

[redakti] Ĥaŭrano

Hwoarang is Jin's rival and is named exclusively after the noise he makes in bed. Hwoarang is the only Ginger Asian in existance and often is bullied for it. he is of Korean decent, which means he naturally sucks at bowling. However, Jin is teaching him how to bake brownies. Hwoarang is good at bowling if you are facing backwards; this is the trick to playing his character. In the fighting minigame, he uses Tae Kwan Do, and is a formidable, if not extremely homosexual, foe.

Titolo

[redakti] Fusiljako/Jako 1-9001 (kaj KirasJako)

Gunjack was the first prototype for the "jack off" series of robots, japanese made bowling robots that are the sucessors to the famous "bukkake" bowling robots. Creator of the Jack off series says his next creation will be a bowling robot named "hentai tentacle rape X turbo" he is extremely good at bowling because he is manmade but he often goes into rages and starts the minigame fighting halfway through bowling, which is a shame because he cant fight to save his life, because Bowling balls and other weopons arent allowed in the fighting minigames.

[redakti] Julia Ĉanio

Julia Chang loves forests.She lost a fight against craig marduk which was a bet that if she wins Marduk will give her money for reforestation but if she loses,she would have to do anal sex with him.So she lost and got fucked in her butthole by craig marduk.

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[redakti] Briano

Brian is made of rubber, and can bounce wherever he pleases. Anything he touches turns to rubber, which is why all of the Tekken males have permanent strap-ons. Brian is extremely homosexual, and mad at Jin for stealing Hwoarang away from him. Brian is 108 years old, american, a vampire and a virgin. It is rumoured that his previous identity was that of Edward Cullen. in the game he throws his balls hard, and they bounce so he is a very good bowler. In the fighting minigame, he just rapes his opponents, which is bad news for Paul because they have to actualy fight to rape eachother.

[redakti] Eddi Gordo

Eddie is the greatest character ever made and has been getting blacker and blacker since the first tekken. in the first game eddie was Latino, but in the 6th game he is full black and could challenge Wesley Snipes(also known as Raven) to a "Black badass showdown" Eddie was born with a disease that makes his arms super weak so he uses them as legs and his legs as arms. Eddie bowls with his feet and has a lot of power, in the fighting minigame he is relatively useless unless you use the same move over again.

[redakti] Laŭ(Julo)

Law is Bruce Lee cameoing in the game, he is superior in the fighting minigame and makes screaming noises very often, however he is sub-par in the main feature of the game Bowling. he often confuses his fellow bowlers for the pins and screams in cantonese every time anyone moves a muscle, except Brian, I think they have a thing going on, because Law's hand is made of Rubber.

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[redakti] Linga Ŝijaŭjuo

Ling has one of the most confusing to pronounce names ever, and was originally born as Phan Nha Yen. She is the iconic character of Tekken and everybody's favourite, not only is she cute but she is the most powerfull fighter in the game, but who really cares about that because this game is about BOWLING. she bowls superbly and is an all round easy character to pick up and play, a firm favourite for women who suck at playstation.

[redakti] Yoŝimitzuo

Yoshimitsu is the demon ghost of Michael Jackson who cast his fury upon the Japanese for all of their terrible karaoke covers of his Music.

After coming back to kick some ass at the Japanese, Michael found himself fond of their culture and studied the advanced ninja art of Manji, he then changed his name to a traditional japanese one and decided to take up the sport that's taking the nation by stor: BOWLING. he is an excelent bowler and never misses, he is good at dancing which is what his fighting is mainly based on, he is good at fighting but loves spinning around way too much.

[redakti] Baek

Whore Angels

Baek is the only other korean in the game, he is Hwoarangs brother and they both go disco's together and dance. he has very keen bowling skills and is a snappy dresser. Baeks grandfather was world bowling champion so he feels that he has to win this tournament for him. however his fighting skills are equally good, he is a good character to play for starting off but eventually you get annoyed with his blatent Homosexuality, seriously if we wanted that much camp we would play brian.

[redakti] Reĝo

Kings father was Rey Mysterio and his mother was a leopard, im sure however you all saw that video on the internet so lets not get into that. king is the manleopardest of manleopards, he is a ladies manleopard. everybody loves king(and raymond) and his bowling skills are unmatched unfortunately you cant play as him in the fighting minigames because he would just maul the other people to death.

[redakti] Anna

Anna is a slutty russian who is bad at both fighting and bowling, but she is only in the game because her rich father paid for her to be in it, however there is a good reason to having her in the game, you can tell your girl friends to paly as her and they will, without realising how much she sucks and sometimse quiet literaly, she cant keep her hands off of king.

[redakti] Ganariju

ganryu gives off a Sumo vibe however he is just extremely fat because he loves KFC. but he thinks by dressing as a sumo he can get some respect, his fighting moves are what he copyed from 80s disco dances and his bowling skills are very good because he has so much weight behind his throws, its sometimes hard to play as him though because you need to feed him every 10 minutes or he dies and you loose the game.

[redakti] Heihaĉi

Heihachi is Jins evil uncle that molested him as a child. he has electro powers and is garry glitters (also known as Wang) brother, it was his electro powers that gave Jin his flying powers, Heihachi has all of the typical creepy uncle tactics at bowling, if hes loosing he threatens to molest the others, if hes winning he also threatens to molest the others, but a congratulatory molestation. in the fighting minigame he is very strong but hard to master his moves.

[redakti] Kiras Reĝo

Armour King is kings schitzofrenic alternate personality, he jumps in a pile of shit to change his colour and then goes out with all the men, you see King is a ladies manleopard whereas Amour king is his gay alter ego, this is a very interesting storyline in tekken and probably the most interesting plot developement in the whole gaming series.

[redakti] rakonto

The main story revolves around an old molesting uncle, Heihachi Mishima, throwing his son, Kazuya, down a canyon. Kazuya survives and throws him down a canyon. Then Heihachi throws Kazuya down a volcano. Then Kazuya’s son, Jin, throws Heihachi out of a temple. Then Jin throws both Heihachi and Kazuya out of another temple. This goes on, with all three involved in a number of highly realistic conflicts, with Heihachi‘s father, Jinpachi(a freaking demon), also eventually being dragged into the mix. How he got with a woman I will never know, I mean he is ON FIRE... The plot expands into a giant competition which no one can remember because so many people are being thrown into volcanoes. Somehow Jin is declared the winner of the competition. Bored, he decides to declare war against everything in existence to allow him to resurrect the almighty god of bowling, Azazel. In a major plot twist, Jin realizes that he and his family have run out of places on Earth to fall off from, so instead decides to create his own pit and drag Azazel with him.

Subplots involve a various selection of non bowling related storys that are supposed to immerse the player in the characters lives so they can feel more in tune with their bowling experience.

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